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Crop Circles and Adultery: A Story as Old as Time

crop-circles skeptic
Do you remember those conspiracy shows that would explore the mysteries of crop circles? Many true believers thought that aliens were sending us messages: communicating through symbols and spheres, hoping that we would be able to heed their warnings.

The story itself didn’t exactly add up: if an alien civilization is advanced enough to traverse the stars (presumably learning move faster than the speed of light), and this civilization wanted to communicate with us…why would they communicate via impressions in farm fields? Our communications networks, especially in the 1980’s and 90’s, weren’t that difficult to figure out.

Of course this is assuming that the aliens themselves considered us less advanced. Maybe the aliens skipped the ‘industrial revolution’ aspect of their development and skipped straight to interstellar travel. Or that industrial technology is so far in their past that they have forgotten all about it. They were so advanced that they couldn’t even comprehend what we were doing.

I think that’s a pretty cool way of looking at it: the aliens see us drive a pick up truck and think: why doesn’t that person just fly to his destination? It’s so much faster…these people must be spiritual. They have learned that it is better to take a slow journey and enjoy the experience. These humans are so amazing!

Almost all of the mystery of crop circles came to a crashing end in 1991 when two British men, Doug Bower and Dave Chorley, admitted to creating the crop circles as a joke. They loved the attention generated from these crop circles and would do it on Friday nights after the pub.

But why did they cop to it? They had scientists, religious figures, and politicians all genuinely dumbfounded. Turns out it was a story as old as time: Doug Bower’s wife thought that he was having an affair.

All the mileage on his truck, coupled with the late nights and evasive answers meant that Doug was in deep trouble. He couldn’t just make an anonymous phone call: he had to go on national television, confess, and even demonstrate how he did it. All this to save his marriage.

It’s a story as old as time.

Which is too bad: they had a great thing going.

Here’s food for thought: if these two men had been a gay couple, or asexual (like Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes), we might still be debating the world of crop circles. There would be reality shows, like that ‘Finding Bigfoot’ series.

Isn’t that a more interesting world to live in?

post | Comments Off on Artwork May 23, 2014